He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
whose ass print is on the piano?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
