his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
