dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
