dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
third nipple confirmed
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
