We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
