just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
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If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
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Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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