I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Farmville is her only friend.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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