He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize