You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
