I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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