There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
A+ Viking dick
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
