He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
