how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
