I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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