My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
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