I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
this just has baby written all over it
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
