spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
