You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
