so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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