She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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