We're facebook friends in real life
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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