They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
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Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
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I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?