I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
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Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
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Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.