she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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