If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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