i'm signing you up for texting rehab
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
