fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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