Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
