at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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