question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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