I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
i've created a new STD.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
