He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
