Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
