If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
