Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
