So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.