is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
