TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
