Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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