i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
