birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
