tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
