you mean i was at the winter classic?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
