does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
