just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
