I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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