I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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