Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
