I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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