This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
