You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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