So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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