I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
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Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
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I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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