today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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