i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
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