piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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