Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
