I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
