Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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