I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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