Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I just gargled with NyQuil
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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