I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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