love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
