I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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