Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
COCAINE IS GR8
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize