I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
