she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
