Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
so much tequila, so little girl.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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