Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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